Okay we are now on Day 4 of our quit, and it has been a HARD few days! On Day 2 I really thought that I was going to strangle someone. I was working and everyone who came in and smelled like smoke made me crave and gag at the same time! I would sweat and then get cold within 3 minutes, I really didn't think that I was going to make it through the day! I didn't sleep good the night before, and getting up at 4 am was not my idea of fun! I moved my patch to the other arm, so now both arms hurt and I was cranky because I only had like 2-3 hours of sleep. I was wanting to eat everything in sight, and it seemed that I was having a craving every 5 minutes. It was not a good day. When I got home it got a little easier. I tried to keep myself busy. Then at bed time I took my patch off (it says that you can do that if you have vivid dreams or can't sleep) and slept through the night.
Day 3 started out good! I got up feeling better and headed to work again. We were really busy, so that kaept me from craving. Once we slowed down I only had 1 major craving, and to stop it I ate a Butterfinger Ice Cream Bar...LOL! It actually worked, but I am not going to eat one of those everytime I crave! When Toby and I got home from work, we went over to his Mom and Dad's and took the kids swimming. The patches tell you that you can shower, swim, and live a active life while wearing them...LOL, they need to reexamine ACTIVE! From day 1, Toby's patches were comming off because he sweats like crazy. So we have to tape his patch on. And then yesterday while swimming my patch kept comming off, so I finally took it off for good. I took it off around 3:30 yeasterday afternoon, and went all night without one on. I felt good and really didn't crave any! I have been up for about 45 minutes today and have not put on my patch, trying to see how long I can go without one...who knows I may not need them anymore. But I think that might be jumping the gun a little!!!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Day 1 of the Commit
Okay, here's my thought: use my blog to chronicle the next 8 weeks as Toby and I quit smoking. Maybe this will be away to help me kick the cravings, I can blog when I want to smoke. We are very fortunate that Toby's company offers to pay 100% if you choose to participate in the Commit For Life Program. We both called and got us a Coach who we can call 24 hours a day, and they sent us each 8 weeks worth of patches.
13 years of something is a long time. I realized last night that 13 years is how long I have smoked...13 years!!! That's the age of our oldest child! I did quit both times that I was pregnant, but for some reason I started again. I know that I can do this, it's mind over matter...
Day 1: Man this is going to be hard! Toby woke me up at 7:30 and asked me if I wanted him to put my patch on now, because it takes like 5 min to get the full effect. I said "sure" and went back to sleep. I never really did fall back to sleep (stupid train), so I thought I would get up and start the day.
I have my morning routine that I do EVERY morning: going to the bathroom, putting in my contacts, brushing my teeth, then going to smoke.
So today was no different, I got up went potty, put in my contacts, brushed my teeth, but then I had to stop myself at the back door. As I was unlocking the door I realized that I had smoked my last cigarette last night. I turned around and went to the computer to check my various accounts. I was good for about 25 minutes, then I guess it was a craving that hit me. All of a sudden I was feeling this "got to have a cigarette NOW" feeling. I went and showered instead.
Okay so it is 8:48 AM on Day 1 and I am already fighting this. I hope that today is the hardest day (we have been told that day 1 is always the hardest) and that tomorrow it gets a little easier.
13 years of something is a long time. I realized last night that 13 years is how long I have smoked...13 years!!! That's the age of our oldest child! I did quit both times that I was pregnant, but for some reason I started again. I know that I can do this, it's mind over matter...
Day 1: Man this is going to be hard! Toby woke me up at 7:30 and asked me if I wanted him to put my patch on now, because it takes like 5 min to get the full effect. I said "sure" and went back to sleep. I never really did fall back to sleep (stupid train), so I thought I would get up and start the day.
I have my morning routine that I do EVERY morning: going to the bathroom, putting in my contacts, brushing my teeth, then going to smoke.
So today was no different, I got up went potty, put in my contacts, brushed my teeth, but then I had to stop myself at the back door. As I was unlocking the door I realized that I had smoked my last cigarette last night. I turned around and went to the computer to check my various accounts. I was good for about 25 minutes, then I guess it was a craving that hit me. All of a sudden I was feeling this "got to have a cigarette NOW" feeling. I went and showered instead.
Okay so it is 8:48 AM on Day 1 and I am already fighting this. I hope that today is the hardest day (we have been told that day 1 is always the hardest) and that tomorrow it gets a little easier.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Is this me?
Okay, I have never kept a blog, but I thought "What the heck I'll try it", so here I am.
I am a full time mom and wife. I also work outside the home about 30-35 hours a week. I stay busy with all 4 kids. We never seem to have a dull moment around here. And just when it seems like we have a moment to stop and catch our breaths, something else starts again. At times I feel like I take on too much, but then I wonder what I would be doing if I hadn't taken on so much. I know that I have a problem telling people "No" when they ask if I can help, but I feel like if I tell them "no" then they will look down on me and think less of me. I don't like to let people down, so I get everything done that is needed. This often times leaves me neglecting Me and my own personal loves. But at the end of the day I feel like if my friends are happy then everything that I did was worth the sacrifice. I am bad about making sure that everyone else is happy and content before I am. Some say that this is bad, and I need to stop, but this is how I am. I don't know how to stop. I am the same with my kids, I will do any and everything to help them out, and ensure their happiness. I feel guilty when I get something that is only for me, I feel guilty that my kids don't have it, or can't share it with me. I am the worst when I go and buy something for one child, I end up buying for all of them, so no one has hurt feelings. I will stay up late to get all their school stuff ready, even if it means that I only get 2 hours of sleep. I will go without clothes, food, sleep, hot water, anything just to make sure that everyone else around me is happy and content for the time being.
Is this how a wife and mother is supposed to be? Unselfish, never without want, loving, giving? Or am I too giving, loving, helpful, quick to jump in and save the day? I never know which line I am crossing or even where the line is.
I am a full time mom and wife. I also work outside the home about 30-35 hours a week. I stay busy with all 4 kids. We never seem to have a dull moment around here. And just when it seems like we have a moment to stop and catch our breaths, something else starts again. At times I feel like I take on too much, but then I wonder what I would be doing if I hadn't taken on so much. I know that I have a problem telling people "No" when they ask if I can help, but I feel like if I tell them "no" then they will look down on me and think less of me. I don't like to let people down, so I get everything done that is needed. This often times leaves me neglecting Me and my own personal loves. But at the end of the day I feel like if my friends are happy then everything that I did was worth the sacrifice. I am bad about making sure that everyone else is happy and content before I am. Some say that this is bad, and I need to stop, but this is how I am. I don't know how to stop. I am the same with my kids, I will do any and everything to help them out, and ensure their happiness. I feel guilty when I get something that is only for me, I feel guilty that my kids don't have it, or can't share it with me. I am the worst when I go and buy something for one child, I end up buying for all of them, so no one has hurt feelings. I will stay up late to get all their school stuff ready, even if it means that I only get 2 hours of sleep. I will go without clothes, food, sleep, hot water, anything just to make sure that everyone else around me is happy and content for the time being.
Is this how a wife and mother is supposed to be? Unselfish, never without want, loving, giving? Or am I too giving, loving, helpful, quick to jump in and save the day? I never know which line I am crossing or even where the line is.
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