Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Is this me?

Okay, I have never kept a blog, but I thought "What the heck I'll try it", so here I am.

I am a full time mom and wife. I also work outside the home about 30-35 hours a week. I stay busy with all 4 kids. We never seem to have a dull moment around here. And just when it seems like we have a moment to stop and catch our breaths, something else starts again. At times I feel like I take on too much, but then I wonder what I would be doing if I hadn't taken on so much. I know that I have a problem telling people "No" when they ask if I can help, but I feel like if I tell them "no" then they will look down on me and think less of me. I don't like to let people down, so I get everything done that is needed. This often times leaves me neglecting Me and my own personal loves. But at the end of the day I feel like if my friends are happy then everything that I did was worth the sacrifice. I am bad about making sure that everyone else is happy and content before I am. Some say that this is bad, and I need to stop, but this is how I am. I don't know how to stop. I am the same with my kids, I will do any and everything to help them out, and ensure their happiness. I feel guilty when I get something that is only for me, I feel guilty that my kids don't have it, or can't share it with me. I am the worst when I go and buy something for one child, I end up buying for all of them, so no one has hurt feelings. I will stay up late to get all their school stuff ready, even if it means that I only get 2 hours of sleep. I will go without clothes, food, sleep, hot water, anything just to make sure that everyone else around me is happy and content for the time being.

Is this how a wife and mother is supposed to be? Unselfish, never without want, loving, giving? Or am I too giving, loving, helpful, quick to jump in and save the day? I never know which line I am crossing or even where the line is.

1 comment:

  1. I've only known you a short time, but I always enjoy seeing your smiling face and talking with you. Sounds to me like you've described a really caring person in this post. As a fellow mom and wife I just wanted to say that it is actually good to take some time for ourselves. We do tend to give and give until we don't have any more to give. Burnout is ugly and most times it hits you in the face without any warning. Maybe you could start by doing one nice thing for yourself each day (or once a week). Read for a little. Take a nap, bath, or walk. Work on your blog. Or, here's MY personal favorite ... enjoy some chocolate. Ha! The number one rule to remember when you do take time for yourself, though, is DON'T FEEL GUILTY. Easier said than done. I know. Your husband and kids will be glad to see you happy! I know this, too. But it sure feels weird the first time you "let your hair down." =)

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